Today I woke up curled in pain, rolled over and threw up into a waste bin. A mixture of bile and bloody; it was grim and disgusting and I wish I could say it was rare. But this is my life now.
A life cut short at 25 by gross medical mistakes, delays and a body that is now failing with Crohns (from stomach to tail end punching holes and pockets everywhere), neuropathy (I can no long feel my hands and feet or wiggle my toes and it is degenerative), autoimmune disease (my immune system attacking my own organs), heart damage etc. There are labradoodles out there with a higher life expectancy. But I take comfort that I am not alone.
Currently my biggest problem is not my life expectancy (>insert LOL<) – it is in fact Homelessness.
At the end of May I will not have a home. And despite writing to all the Councillors, MSPs, Homelessness Team and Advocacy services in my area – the best response I have received so far is “You probably won’t end up on the streets” with no solutions or offers of help.
It has been harrowing and terrifying.
I tried all the usual avenues charities, Shelter etc. but without the correct paperwork (that only my landlord can issue) I am facing illegal eviction and homelessness. Agency’s have advised ‘Just call the Police if it’s illegal’ without any regard for my own state of health and physical resilience. Even Homeless charities have no concept of how debilitating Chronic Pain is on trying to find a home with zero income.
Feeling low one night I even called the Samaritans. You see my own sense of self-preservation is not high but I worry for my ginger cats.
I received good advice from twitter (once I weeded out the Trolls, one of which advised suicide – what a beautiful world we live in) but without my local Council doing anything – there are limited options. So I thought I should start a blog before I go because if this ends badly – I would like people to know what actually happened.
The personal side of this site will sort of show you the bleakness but also the happy times and I remain determined to stay cheerful even in the face of whatever comes.
xx